Bedroom Confidence for Good Women

“What the human being is best at doing is interpreting all new information so that their prior conclusions remain intact.” -Warren Buffet Have you ever known someone who believed something so deeply, they would not consider that they were wrong...no matter what the evidence said?  If you were the one trying to convince them otherwise, I bet it was frustrating for you.   Our brains have sort of a filter on them.  Our brains interpret all the information presented to us through the filter of our own belief system.  This why two different people can take the exact same fact and prove two different points.   Let's look at this example.  A husband cooks dinner for the family and then goes to rest in the bedroom after a long day of work.  One wife might think, "I am so grateful to have a husband that would work all day and still be willing to cook dinner for us. I am willing to clean up in return."  Another wife might think, "Ugh! Why does...

There have been a few times lately, mostly when my kids are being a bit difficult, that I have wished I could go back to when they were babies (you know, when they weren't able to say rude things or express their displeasure with the dinner I just spent hours preparing). I just know if I could have only one day with them as a baby again, I would savor each second.  Then the thought comes, "One day you'll wish you could have this moment back, so you could savor every moment." Remember the early days of your relationship with your husband?  You probably didn't have kids, a college degree or a steady source of income.  You were probably dreaming of days when you could hold your future babies, graduate with that degree and land your dream job.  You were so eager to see what the future would hold. In hindsight, are there things you miss about that time in your relationship?  Would you appreciate the simplicity of that life?  If you could relive a week of...

My husband tells me my brain is like a vault.  What that really means is, he thinks I remember every negative thing he has ever done.  He used to be worried that I would lock all of his mistakes or faults in my vault and later use them as ammunition in the heat of the moment.  I confess, that I may have been guilty of this at one time or another, but I've learned something that has made me change the way I see the things from our past that get stored in the vault periodically.  If you are having trouble letting go of past mistakes that your husband has made, you may benefit from what I have learned.  If you are continuing to experience hurt and pain over the choices your husband has made previously in your relationship, please keep reading. First, can you do me a favor and be really open-minded for a second?  I want you to think about the possibility that the past cannot hurt you.  Absolutely nothing in the past can hurt you right now....

Are you remembering to love your choice? How can you choose love today?

Have you ever been really upset by something your partner did and decided to just let it go?  It probably felt really good if you were able to really let go of the frustration and truly feel love for your husband.   Have you ever been really upset with him and tried to let it go, only to keep thinking about the issue while it festered?  Eventually, this scenario leads to a huge blow up if you aren't careful.  It could be the slightest offense that sets off this eruption of emotions.  Often it's something that has nothing to do with the real issue that caused you to be upset in the first place. Here's the thing about emotions.  We can try to stuff them all we want, but if we aren't able to truly forgive and forget them, they will eventually surface.   I like to visualize a beach ball when talking about emotions.  Pretend the large ball represents your emotion. If you take a beach ball, and try to hold it under the water, you can ...

It takes one person in the marriage to make the decision to change.  When that one person decides to change, the other person in the relationship has to decide if they will shift to balance the relationship. I know you might feel like you don't want to be the one who has to put forth the extra effort.   Can I ask you a question?  Would you put forth the effort if you knew your marriage depended on it? I promise you, with the right attitude and commitment, one person can change the whole tone of the relationship. If you have a couple extra minutes, please read this  story about the way author, Richard Paul Evans decided to change only himself, in an attempt to save his marriage.  I read it years ago, and it has stayed with me ever since. “Finally, hoarse and broken, I sat down in the shower and began to cry. In the depths of my despair powerful inspiration came to me. You can’t change her, Rick. You can only change yourself. At that moment I began to p...

Some of us use the call to "be ye therefore perfect", in a way that Heavenly Father never intended.   If you are anything like me, you probably do it too.  Does any of this sound familiar? In an attempt to be perfect, you might start to focus on your failures, over-extend yourself and even doubt your own worth. You look at everyone else around you and see all of their best qualities.   You see the wife who always looks like perfection by her husbands side, and the mom who never raises her voice to her children.  You might begin to wonder why you can't keep your house in order, when your neighbor works full-time, has five kids and keeps her home immaculate.  And the comparisons go on and on.   You take the best qualities of everyone around you and create in your mind what you believe to be the “perfect" wife and mother. You can never be as good as her.   She isn’t even real. Yet, when you fall short of measuring up to this perfect -but ficti...