Bedroom Confidence for Good Women

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."  I'm not sure who said this originally.  It has been attributed to Plato, Socrates, Marjorie Pay Hinkley and more.  It doesn't really matter to me, who said it first.  It just speaks to my heart.  We all have hard days and hard battles in our lives.  Isn't it great when someone eases our burden or offers a kind gesture that tells us we aren't alone?   The times when we are the hardest to love, are the exact moments when we need love the most.  The same is true for everyone around us.   If someone in your life seems a little harder to love today, I challenge you to show them love anyway.   If you have made mistakes and feel disappointed with yourself, be kind.  Practice self-compassion. Being human and doing life is hard.  Let's give each other the benefit of the doubt and just keep being kind.  

I was asked to teach a group of teenagers about a week ago.  As I pondered what I wish all young people knew, I thought about the lives they have ahead of them.  I reflected on my own life and what I wish I had know while I was navigating my own transition from being a kid to living as an adult. There were good times and there were hard times.  This is standard for most of us.  Somehow, I was lucky enough to have the support I needed to push through the hard times and keep my goals at the forefront of my mind.  Still, there are somethings I probably would have done differently, if I had known that I could really accomplish anything I believed I could. I want to teach you what I shared with those teenagers. First, I want you to think of a goal you have.  Think of the best possible outcome for this goal.  If you are struggling in your relationship, think of the optimal outcome you have for yourself as a partner.  If you are trying to start a...

Imagine if someone came up to you and said, "I really hate your neon green Mohawk."  Would that hurt your feelings?  Unless you really do have a neon green mohawk, you would probably think the person that just said that to you was crazy.  You probably wouldn't be deeply offended or act defensive, you might just think he had bad eyesight.  Right?  You wouldn't make such a ridiculous comment mean anything bad about you.  You would just wonder what the heck is wrong with the other person! Now imagine if someone came up to you on Sunday and said, "The talk you just gave was really inappropriate."  Yikes!  It feels a little different right?  Suddenly you believe it's possible there could be some validity to this comment.  If you are already feeling insecure about your talk or your ability to speak in public, you start to really let this comment permeate your thoughts and emotions. The comments and accusations that hurt the most, are the...

I learned a fun little exercise a few months ago.  It allows you to predict the future!  Ok, ok, I don't really believe in fortune tellers and crystal balls, but I definitely do believe you can know what will happen in the future, if you decide to create it.  Since this is a blog about creating the marriage you want, let's focus on the relationship you have with your husband (you can totally use this technique for anything you want).  Grab a pencil and paper, and simply follow the steps below.  1- Imagine yourself 5 years from now.  What kind of relationship do you want to have with your husband?  Be very specific.  What will you enjoy together?  How will you communicate with him?  What will you do that makes you feel connected to him?  Get a very clear picture of what this relationship looks like, and your specific role in this future bliss. 2- Now imagine you already are this wife in the relationship that you ju...

I used to hear people talk about how important "self-awareness" was.  I had no idea what that even meant!  Like, I have always been aware of myself.  I've always known I was in existence.  I've always been able to feel physical pain and sensations, so I knew I was alive. I kept wondering, "What is all the hype about self-awareness and why does it matter?" I have come to realize that people who are self-aware understand the connection between their mind and the results they see in their lives.  They actually take note of what they are thinking, instead of just reacting to everything.  When they understand this connection of mind and results, they have power to create anything they want.   That does not mean self-aware people are always happy and life is always great for them.  It just means they understand the correlation between their thoughts, feelings and behaviors, ultimately leading to any result they acquire.   What resu...

"Sandwiched between their Once Upon A Time and Happily Ever After they all had to experience great adversity." ~ Dieter F. Uchtdorf Why is adversity so important?  Why do we all need to experience it?  It is a part of being human, after all.  It is a part of loving.  It is a part of relationships.  Adversity gives us contrast in life.  Without sorrow, there would be no joy.  Can you imagine if there were no joy in your marriage?  Maybe you feel like the joy is hard to find now.  It's ok my friend, there are seasons of adversity in all our relationships.  The good news is, it's supposed to be that way and we can be better for  it.  Adversity gives opportunity to grow and bond.  When husband and wife sincerely work together to overcome weaknesses within their marriage, they have the opportunity to form a bond that would otherwise remain unknown. Weathering the storms together, surviving difficult times an...

Have you heard it said, "feelings are always a choice"? That rubs some people the wrong way.  They don't like thinking the other person in the relationship has no responsibility in how they feel. Many of us decide we don't want to feel love toward someone who we believe has wronged us (that is okay, by the way).  Just know, love is always an option that is available-- if you want it.  Nothing anyone does or doesn't do can ever deny you that feeling. Isn't that great news?! Love feels amazing. Why would we choose not to feel love toward someone?  When you choose not to feel love, it only effects you.  You are the only one who gets to feel your feelings. Choosing love does not mean approving of any behavior.  It does not mean you don't take action in protecting yourself or attaining desired results.  It simply means your ability to be happy never has to be dependent on somebody else. Choosing love is a gift you get to give to yourself! Bo...