A Shred of Truth

Imagine if someone came up to you and said, "I really hate your neon green Mohawk."  Would that hurt your feelings?  Unless you really do have a neon green mohawk, you would probably think the person that just said that to you was crazy.  You probably wouldn't be deeply offended or act defensive, you might just think he had bad eyesight.  Right?  You wouldn't make such a ridiculous comment mean anything bad about you.  You would just wonder what the heck is wrong with the other person!

Now imagine if someone came up to you on Sunday and said, "The talk you just gave was really inappropriate."  Yikes!  It feels a little different right?  Suddenly you believe it's possible there could be some validity to this comment.  If you are already feeling insecure about your talk or your ability to speak in public, you start to really let this comment permeate your thoughts and emotions.

The comments and accusations that hurt the most, are the ones we  think might be true.

Next time you get really upset about something someone says, I challenge you to stop and ask yourself if there could be any truth to their words.  If so, explore why it bothers you so much and what you are afraid of.  Be honest with yourself.  Make changes if that is what you want to do.  If there is no truth or validity in what they are saying, I challenge you to not engage in the drama of it all.  Just look at them like they just told you, "you have a neon green mohawk."  Then move on with your day.

I know this is easier said than done; especially in a marriage partnership.   If you need help learning how to disengage from the drama, contact me here for a free 20 minute mini session.

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