Bedroom Confidence for Good Women

Did you know adult attitudes toward sexual intimacy are largely conditioned during childhood and adolescence?   In our youthful years, we are like sponges absorbing and believing all that our parents and leaders tell us (or are afraid to tell us).  If you were taught that sex is bad, dirty, or should be avoided at all costs, you might be one of the otherwise well-adjusted wives who still think of intimate relations (even after marriage) as evil, wrong or just another chore.  This is what I want you to know if you are feeling this way. There is nothing wrong with you.  In fact it makes perfect sense that you feel this way. For years you were taught to bridle all those feelings.  Do not think about sexual desires.  Do not indulge in those types of behaviors.  Do not talk about those types of things....and the list goes on. Then one day you knelt across an altar and covenanted to "be one" for the rest of eternity and you were expected to flip ...

Can you remember when you first fell in love with your husband?  The way you would flirt... Hold each other's hand... The butterflies from that first kiss.... You probably talked for hours without running out of things to say.  You were learning and discovering each other.  You had so much excitement and energy as you fell head over heels. Somewhere along the way the excitement may have faded.  Things began to change.  Part of this is normal as we enter new phases of our relationship, but if you are struggling to feel attraction or even tolerate your spouse right now, it doesn't have to be this way! If you are unable to connect and feel less like soul mates and more like roommates who tolerate each other, decide today that you will choose to be attracted to your husband again.  Choose to be giddy and excited all over again.  I love the concept that attraction is a decision we keep on making. You can be with someone for ...

How much savings do you have in your marital bank account?  I'm not talking about money. I'm not trying to get personal information.  In fact, I bet you aren't even sure exactly what the account looks like.  That's okay.  Let me help you get a better picture.  It just takes a couple quick questions to figure it out. What kind of wife do you really want to be to your spouse?  Get really specific when you answer this question.  If your initial answer is "loyal", describe in detail what you would do, say or think to maintain your loyalty on a daily basis. Now, I want you to think about how you act, speak to or think about your husband during a typical day. After you have made your lists, put them side by side and see if they match up.  If they do, you are living for the life you genuinely want, not just what you feel like doing in the moment. It can be so easy to confuse how we feel in the moment with what we want long term.  In fact...

Just 3 days after his team lost the Super Bowl, Tom Brady posted the following comment on Instagram: "There are many emotions when you come up short of your goal.  And they are all part of learning and growing in this journey of life.  Learning turns everything into a positive..." So often we get focused on how we think things are supposed to be, that we forget there is a journey to get to that sweet spot we've always dreamed of.  Along the journey to our goals, there will surely be wins and losses; things that work well and things that work not-so-well. All of these experiences are an important part of any journey. What do you consider to be the ultimate goal of your marriage; that sweet spot you always dreamed of?  Maybe you haven't thought about that for a while, or ever.  Take a minute and write down what your ultimate marriage goal is.  Now think about the success that you have had in your marriage as you have worked toward that goal.  Nex...

“What the human being is best at doing is interpreting all new information so that their prior conclusions remain intact.” -Warren Buffet Have you ever known someone who believed something so deeply, they would not consider that they were wrong...no matter what the evidence said?  If you were the one trying to convince them otherwise, I bet it was frustrating for you.   Our brains have sort of a filter on them.  Our brains interpret all the information presented to us through the filter of our own belief system.  This why two different people can take the exact same fact and prove two different points.   Let's look at this example.  A husband cooks dinner for the family and then goes to rest in the bedroom after a long day of work.  One wife might think, "I am so grateful to have a husband that would work all day and still be willing to cook dinner for us. I am willing to clean up in return."  Another wife might think, "Ugh! Why does...

There have been a few times lately, mostly when my kids are being a bit difficult, that I have wished I could go back to when they were babies (you know, when they weren't able to say rude things or express their displeasure with the dinner I just spent hours preparing). I just know if I could have only one day with them as a baby again, I would savor each second.  Then the thought comes, "One day you'll wish you could have this moment back, so you could savor every moment." Remember the early days of your relationship with your husband?  You probably didn't have kids, a college degree or a steady source of income.  You were probably dreaming of days when you could hold your future babies, graduate with that degree and land your dream job.  You were so eager to see what the future would hold. In hindsight, are there things you miss about that time in your relationship?  Would you appreciate the simplicity of that life?  If you could relive a week of...

My husband tells me my brain is like a vault.  What that really means is, he thinks I remember every negative thing he has ever done.  He used to be worried that I would lock all of his mistakes or faults in my vault and later use them as ammunition in the heat of the moment.  I confess, that I may have been guilty of this at one time or another, but I've learned something that has made me change the way I see the things from our past that get stored in the vault periodically.  If you are having trouble letting go of past mistakes that your husband has made, you may benefit from what I have learned.  If you are continuing to experience hurt and pain over the choices your husband has made previously in your relationship, please keep reading. First, can you do me a favor and be really open-minded for a second?  I want you to think about the possibility that the past cannot hurt you.  Absolutely nothing in the past can hurt you right now....